Heartbreaking Tragedy

[Caveat: Some of this is not in the news yet... This is MY interpretation of the course of events and my text may not be re-published without my permission.  I'm only writing this to empty my brain, not to start rumors or incriminate anyone.]

On Monday, there was a tragedy at my son's daycare center.  A 2-year-old boy, one of Carter's friends, was accidentally left in his carseat in a locked car behind the school and perished in the blazing sun.  The boy was a relative of Carter's teacher (the individual that [allegedly] left the boy in the car) and the boy's mother is a teacher at another daycare (same owner, across town).  The car was parked behind the school in a lot that is not easily visible by anyone, so it is not surprising that he was not found until the late afternoon when the first teacher went home for the day.

I cannot fathom the pain the little boy must have felt, nor can I fathom the pain that Carter's teacher will have to live with for the rest of her life.

I arrived to pick up Carter about an hour after the boy was found and the place was crawling with cops, media, and rescue workers.  There was not a dry eye in the place (myself included), as this is a horrific tragedy that one cannot wrap your brain around.  I was escorted by the police to pick up my son and was not told anything about the situation.  However, one of Carter's former teachers very quickly explained the situation, but did not name names.

After leaving, I checked the news stories, put it all together, and nearly threw up.

It. Was. Carter's. Teacher. That. Accidentally. Killed. A. Little. Boy.

This is something just so tragic and something so preventable.  I am still wrapping my brain around this (precisely why I'm typing this blog...). 

But what really gets to me is reading the news stories online. I am sickened by how the media and the public are so quick to judge.  Calling Carter's teacher a murderer.  Fire her!  Close the school!  And worse, suggesting that she be left in a hot car to die as a suitable punishment for her crime.

Well, when I arrived to pick up Carter, I saw her.  She was being interviewed by the police.  She looked like a ghost.  An empty shell of a human.  I know her.  I trust her.  And I have no doubt that this was an accident and as "punishment," she will by nature pay dearly for the rest of her life.  She didn't mean to do this.  She did NOT murder that little boy.  She does NOT need to be left in a hot car to die as punishment.

Around 7PM, the owner called me to tell me that the school would be closed on Tuesday so that everyone can grieve.  She very steeley explained what happened and as I predicted, it was a non-routine event:

1) Carter's teacher was bringing the boy to school because the mother was unavailable; something that was done by her about 3 times a year.

2) She teaches an older class of 3's, so she wouldn't have quickly noticed if he was in the younger class (because she was busy with my kid's 3's class) and the teachers in the 2's class would not have quickly noticed, since he was not a regular student.

3) No one would have checked the employee cars in the back lot because the majority of the kids are dropped of by their parents in the front lot, like myself, or the employees' kids arrive at the same time as the employee; plus, the cars should be empty during the day.

All of these events are non-routine.  When the kid was found in the car, the staff did everything they could to "save" him, but by then it was too late.  He was dead.

I read stories like this from time to time on the news and people always wonder how you could "forget" your kid in the back.  Well, while it's not something I've done, I can easily see how it could happen.  I drive the same route every day.  It's routine.  So routine that I often forget something (my laptop, my coffee, etc.).  So what if it WASN'T routine?  I'd say my forgetfulness would be amplified.  And it could happen.  And it does all over the US.  And it's a preventable tragedy.  My car has a sensor that can determine whether or not a child is in the front seat...why haven't car manufacturers included an alarm system that can sense whether a kid has been left in the car?! 

I'm not making excuses for her, nor am I defending her.  What I'm doing is NOT judging her.  I know that she IS a good teacher.  I will continue to send my son to this school.  And I will continue to trust in the care that he will receive there.  They are an extension of our family and will continue to be.  While I can only guess that she will no longer serve as his teacher, if she DOES return, I will hug her tightly and forgive her. 

More than anything, I'm saddened that she will have to live with this pain for the rest of her life.  She is young and has a long life of hell to face.  The family is no doubt destroyed.  She had to face her family when they found out about the boy's death.  I can't even fathom the hell this would be. For example, I couldn't imagine having to call my brother to say I accidentally killed his son.  I couldn't even find the words.


Above all, I am heartbroken by this tragedy and have cried many tears.  I hugged my kid a little tighter yesterday and I slept horribly.  Tomorrow will be a new day and it will be different school that my son will continue to attend.  But we will continue to send him there.  Period.

My advice to all of the parents out there:  Take a minute to hug your kid/kids today.  Kiss them, love them, and cherish them.  Now, I'm going to play with some trucks and squeeze my kid a little tighter.
~kerrie